this weekend, like many others, was a wedding weekend. erin and i drove to south carolina for this wedding. it's the third trip this year. i could comment on quite a few parts of this wedding ceremony, but i what took my breath away was the minister & not in a good way.
the ceremony started, much like all ceremonies, with a processonal. nothing fancy there. from there on out it seemed that this ceremony was the most impersonable wedding i have been too (& i've been to quite a few). the minister took over reciting the opening liturgy, from the methodist hymnal, the first time i've seen that done. then started reading the scriptures, usually done by family or friends. the one tie to the family was that the bible he read from was the grandparents of the groom. he went into a sermon speal on committment of marriage and how sacred it was (i can agree with that). he talked about the difference between a civil ceremony and a Christian ceremony within the church and before God & that the church needed to protect the sanctity of marriage. at that point i was weary he was eluding to the politics of same sex marriage, erin didn't feel that he was going that route, so i assume it was just me. he talked about how when couples ask him to marry them they have to sign a contract for seven premarital talks, but funny, he apparently did all the talking during these sessions because he didn't share anything about the wedding couple during this sermon. he read the gospel scripture and talked some more. this time he shared "i tell this story at all the weddings i do" which, whether you do that or not, no one needs to hear that your cermony is just like all the other ones i do. he told a story of being part of a small town and that all the excitment happened on saturdays when there would be two or three weddings and all the children and townspeople would go to them. he remembers as a child going and seeing his parents sitting next to each other reciting the vows along with the marrying couple, renewing their vows over and over again. he called it an "electrical" moment, "i didn't understand it, but i knew something great was happening." that's a nice story. he then asked all the married couples to do similar as my friends were to take their vows. that's nice too.. however, come to find out, the bride specifically asked the minister not to do this as her parents (and i believe some other family) are divorced and remarried. he went on with it anyways. the cermony ended and we all went to the reception.
i ask the questions.. who's day is the wedding? i have always been under the impression that the two people wed before God and their community of friends and family in order to uplift & bring together a support community. it's not just the brides (although she is the focal point) or grooms, but everyone involved plays a part in this milestone. to me this seems easy to embrace, so why then does a man, who is given religious authority take that focus away and turn it onto himself? as erin and i talked about going against the wishes of the bride, i mentioned that these are the type of actions and attitudes that drive people out of the church. it burns me up when i feel people have taken religious license and run amuck, and that is what i feel about this man during this ceremony. worse yet, he probably does this over all his ceremonies. argh!
